Your RA Won’t Tell You This (But I Will): A Freshman’s Guide to Thriving in the SMU Dorms
Let’s be honest…most SMU students treat the dorms like a waiting room. You survive freshman year, move into an apartment, and never look back.
I, on the other hand, am finishing my third consecutive year living in Loyd Commons, one as a resident and two as an RA, communal bathrooms and all. have eaten in the same dining hall, studied in the same common rooms, and said good morning to the same custodial staff for three years running.
Most importantly, I know more than anyone that this is not the typical college experience, which means I know things about dorm life that most people only figure out too late. Consider this the guide I wish someone had given me on move-in day.
What Actually Happens Behind Closed Doors
The version of dorm life you see on social media is move-in day aesthetics and matching bedding. However, what those perfectly curated Instagram posts leave out is the roommate conflict that starts in week two over a passive-aggressive fridge situation, the resident who knocks on their RA’s door at midnight because their roommate fainted, or the floor that starts the year as a collection of strangers and ends as a community.
That last one is the part I find most interesting, and the most underestimated. According to research from Stanford University, early social connection in college is one of the strongest predictors of long-term student wellbeing. The dorm is where that connection either gets built or, unfortunately, gets missed entirely. And unlike an apartment, you rarely get a second chance to make that first impression on your floor.
As an RA, I run a monthly dirty soda bar on my floor, which sounds inconsequential. Yet, residents tell me it is the only program they consistently show up to at Loyd Commons. What it actually is, is a low-pressure reason to be in the same room as your neighbors before you have
decided whether you like them yet, which is how a community gets built. Community cannot be made through forced fun, but through repeated, casual proximity. The dirty soda bar is not the point. The fifteen minutes your neighbor spends standing next to someone they have never talked to? That is the point.
What Your RA Actually Does
From the outside, being an RA looks like rounds, desk shifts, and paperwork. From the inside, it looks like sitting with a resident at 1 a.m. while they work through something hard, navigating a roommate conflict involving histories and identities that require real care, and responding to conduct situations while somehow keeping everyone calm enough to actually talk.
The thing most freshmen do not know is that RAs are your most accessible resource on campus. We are trained to connect you to SMU’s full network of student support, from the counseling center to academic resources to the Dean of Students office. Before freshmen arrive on campus, all RAs complete weeks worth of training, curated by Residents Life of Student Housing (RLSH), to prepare for individuals just like you. Most residents only come to us when something has already gone wrong, but the ones who treat us like an actual resource from the start have a noticeably different experience.
You do not have to wait for a crisis to get connected. That is the behind-the-scenes truth nobody puts in the welcome packet. Most of what I do happens in hallways, not offices. That accessibility is the whole advantage, so use it!
The Part That Actually Stays With You
I am the first person to admit that three years in the same building with a communal bathroom and no kitchen is not the most glamorous college experience. Yet, I have watched people arrive as strangers in August and leave in May having built something real. I have seen two roommates navigate a genuinely painful situation and come out closer for it. Most importantly, I have watched a floor that had every reason to stay siloed actually become a community.
None of that happens automatically. It happens because people showed up, communicated, and stayed open longer than felt comfortable. The dorm at SMU gives you the conditions to succeed. What you do with them is up to you.
Three years in, I am still choosing to show up. I think you should too.
